Monday, December 28, 2009

Tabibu by Angela Chibalonza

1) Ni tabibu wa karibu, tabibu wa ajabu.
Na neema, ya daima ni dawa yake njema.
Hatufai kuwa hai, wala hatutumai ila yeye kweli ndiye atupumzishaye.

Imbeni malaika siafa za Yesu Bwana
Peke limetukuka Jina lake Yesu x2

2) Dhambi pia na hatia ametuchukulia,
twenendeni na amani hata kwake mbinguni.

3) Uliona tamu Jina la Yesu Kristu Bwana
Yuna sifa mwenye kufa asishindwe na kufa.

4) Kila mume asimame sifa zake zivume
Wanawake na washike kusifu jina lake.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009



1. Drink plenty of water
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy
5. Make time for prayer and fasting....they are your key to breakthroughs.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day ---- and while you walk, smile pls.

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
13. Don't over do ; keep your limits
14. Don't take yourself so seriously ; no one else does
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, it wont make u a better person at all...instead it will chip away what God was beginning to restore in your's dangerous for you....abstain!!!
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need...
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23 Smile and laugh more
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...principle of life....awuzophuma nto!!!

25. Call your family often
26. Each day give something good to others
27. Forgive everyone for everything
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day
30. What other people think of you is none of your business
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

32. Do the right things and apologise when u are wrong.
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
34. GOD heals everything
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
37. The best is yet to come
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

40. Have a fruitfula and a fulfilling day! God bless youuuuuu :-)

Friday, December 18, 2009

Why Lie?!

You wake up one day,
And realize that you always had it all.
That smile on your face,
That spring in your step,
That hearty laughter in your chest,
And surely you know,
Someone up above the sky ,
Must love you so
And it’s surely is Christ
Why Lie?!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

My List of Lessons Learnt

My List of Lessons Learnt

I have learnt that suffering has to come to an end so that God can open a new page in our lives.

I have learnt that time heals wounds; that we thought could never heal.

I have learnt that God gives us second chances; and it is up to us to find out whether we will grab them or not.

I have learnt that God answers other people’s prayers first, so that the same people can open the same doors for us.

I have learnt that even the greatest offense in this world can be forgiven.

I have learnt that even the most broken relationships can be mended, if we tried.

I have learnt that Peace & Reconciliation are just a heartbeat away, if we can open our hearts to this strange thing called “Forgiveness”.

I have learnt that my charity often creates a great trail of charity.

I have learnt that my simple beliefs; when held in truth and confidence can change the lives of the people around me.

I have learnt that everyone on the face of this planet needs love to survive.

I have learnt that just because people don't love us the way we want them to love us does not mean that they don't love us at all.

I have learnt that freedom comes when we learn to let go. Creation comes when we learn to say "No"

I have learnt that until you have had your heart broken, you never appreciate true love when you find it.

I have learnt that a heart can never stop, force it we may, until it finds its true love.



A time comes in your life when you finally get it ... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks & somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH!" Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety, and security to come galloping over the next horizon.
This is your awakening.

You come to terms with the fact that you are not Prince Charming. And that, in the real world, there aren't always fairy-tale endings
(or beginnings, for that matter).

And that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you ... and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK.
They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself ... and in the process, a sense of new-found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you.

So you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself ... and in
the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and overlook their shortcomings and human frailties ... and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche.
And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you
should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you
begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the differences between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with ... and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is
power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering
through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not outdated
ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation
upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the
world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and
that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love; how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would
have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes.

And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing
things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK, and that it is your
right to want things and to ask for the things you want ... and that
sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love,
kindness, sensitivity, and respect ... and you won't settle for less.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.

You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you
deserve ... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working towards making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need
direction, intent, and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone ... and that it's OK to risk
asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber of all: FEAR itself.

You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens, you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a
cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair; you don't always get what you think
you deserve, and that bad things sometimes happen to unsuspecting, good people.

And you learn to deal with negativity in its most primal state ... the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be allowed and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot

Slowly you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you
make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

Hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Keep smiling, keep trusting, and stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart, take a stand, a deep breath, and begin to design as best you can the life you want to live.


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

My Lovely One

It is today my lovely one, that you were born.
It is today that I first whispered a prayer for you.
It is today that God placed in my hands a soul to care for.
It is today that I held you in my arms.
It is today that fear left me and courage held my hand.

I never knew how much joy you would bring me.
I never knew how much energy I would need to keep with your fast pace.
I never knew how much I would need to be patient
But most of all,
I never knew how much you would bring me closer to my God
I never knew that every time I knelt to pray for you, God would answer my prayers.
I never knew how much I would be a better person, since you came into my life.
I never knew that being proud to have you, would make me a lovely mother.
Oh dear, I never knew

And your sweet love
When you kiss me on the cheek
When you say “I love you mum” before you go to bed
When you hug me when I get home from work
When I see how much progress you have made in school
When you tell me “this is big” and “this is small” by the measure of your hands

That’s when I know you that you are my angel.
That’s when I know that God sent you to rescue me
That’s when I know that that was God’s way of telling me “You are not alone”

Oh how can I explain?
Oh how can I let you know?
That you are, and will forever be MY SWEET LOVE.

By Cathy Mutune

That moment

There is always someone in the world waiting for someone else, whether in the middle of the desert or in the heart of some big city. And when these two people’s paths cross and their eyes meet, the whole of the past and the whole of the future lose all importance, and there only exists that moment and that incredible certainty that everything under the Sun was written by the very same Hand. The Hand that awakens Love and creates a sister soul for everyone who works, rests and seeks treasures under the Sun. Were it not for this, the dreams of the human race would make no sense.

By Paulo Coelho

What I need...

I have to make a change, re-evaluate and see where it was when I stepped back from my norm,

I have to make a change and remind myself what I seem to have forgotten, that I am worthy of good things,

I need to make a change and let God heal me, direct me and be my anchor- I need Him to show me where I lost my way...
I need to make a change, and stop trying to control situations I have no control over,

I need to make a change, to find the I inside that I seem to have neglected so much,

I need to make a change, find a love for myself that's unbreakable, the incredibly forgiving kind of love.

I need to make a change, learn to forgive myself for mistakes I've made, I need to be more comfortable in my own skin.

I need to make a change, a new beginning, a step to the me that I've always been and then some. I need to not give up and I need to fight to keep the genuine smile on my face.
By Cathy Mukora

Things as they are

Of course things don’t always happen they way we wish they would. There are moments in which we feel we are seeking something that is not meant for us, knocking on doors that don’t open, waiting for miracles that don’t manifest themselves.

Fortunately that is the way things are – if everything went the way we wanted, soon we would no longer have anything to write about, nothing to guide our daily thoughts. This script serves our dreams as nourishment, but to our battles as energy. And as it always happens with the warriors that spend all their energy in the Good Fight, there are moments in which it is best to relax and believe that the Universe is still working for us secretly, even if we cannot comprehend it.

And so, let us allow the Soul of the World to fulfill its mission, and if we can’t help, the best way to collaborate is to pay attention to the simple things in life; the sunset, the people in the street, the reading of a book.

However, in many cases, time continues passing and nothing exceptional happens. But the true warrior of light believes. Just like children believe.

Because they believe in miracles, the miracles begin to happen.

Because they are certain that their thoughts can change their lives, their lives begin to change.

Because they are certain they will find love, this love appears.

Sometimes they are disappointed. Sometimes they feel hurt.

Then they hear the comments, “you are so naïve!”

But the warrior knows it is worth the price. To each defeat, there are two conquests in his favor.

In an interesting and diminutive book called “The Breviary of Medieval Knights,” there are some passages that have to be remembered in these moments of waiting:

“The Path’s spiritual energy uses justice and patience to prepare your spirit.”

“This is the Knight’s Path. An easy and hard path at the same time, as it urges us to let aside useless things and relative friendships. That is why, at the beginning, we hesitate so much to follow it.”

“This is a Knight’s first teaching: you will erase everything you wrote up to now on your life’s notebook: turmoil, insecurities, lies. And in place of all that, you will write the word courage. Beginning the journey with this word and going on with faith in God, you will arrive where you need to arrive.”

Even so, sometimes we keep on waiting – with patience, resignation, courage – and still, things around us don’t move. But since this is the path we chose, it seems impossible that life’s blessings are not working in our favor. It provokes, therefore, a deep reflection about what we call “results:” our destiny is manifesting itself in a way we are not able to fully comprehend . Jorge Luís Borges wrote a masterly short story about this issue.

He describes the birth of a tiger that spends great part of its life in the African wildness but ends up being captured and taken to a zoo in Italy. From then on, the animal thinks his life has lost sense and there is nothing left to do but wait for the day he dies.

One fine day, poet Dante Alighieri passes by this zoo, looks at the tiger, and the animal inspires a verse – in the midst of thousands of verses – of “The Divine Comedy.”

“The entire battle for survival that tiger went through was only so that it could be at the zoo on that morning and inspire an immortal verse,” says Borges.

Just like this tiger, we all have a reason – a very important reason – to be here, at this moment, this morning.

So relax. And pay attention.
By Paulo Coelho

हाउ तो Live

First I was dying to finish my high school and start college.
And then I was dying to finish college and start working.
Then I was dying to have children.
and then I was dying for my children tp grow old enough so that i canget back to work.
But then I was dying to retire
and then now am dying
and suddenly I realized i forgot to live

Please don't let this happen to you
Appreciate your current situation
and enjoy each day

To make money we lose our health,
and then to restore our health we lose our money.
We live as if we are never going to die,
and we die as if we never lived.

Life is very short, so break your silly ego, forgive quickly, believe slowly, love truly, laugh loudly & never avoid anything that makes you smile.
The Day's Motivation

When I woke up this morning lying in bed, I was asking myself;
What are some of the secrets of success in life?
I found the answer right there, in my very room.

The Fan cool.
The Roof said.........................aim high.
The Window said....................... see the world.
The Clock said........................ every minute is precious
The Mirror said.......................reflect before you act.
The Calendar.......................... be up to date.
The Door said......................... push hard for your goals.

Carry a Heart that Never Hates.

Carry a Smile that Never Fades.

Carry a Touch that Never Hurts.

Monday, August 17, 2009

The Right Man

First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. Second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it’s made on an emotional one. “What about love? Shouldn’t that be the third?” you ask. No, and I’ll tell you why. “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jer.17:9). The heart is willful and it’s driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently-it just loves to love!

Therefore, you have to point it in the right directions: “Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Prov.4:23). Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage. Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship, and then marriage. Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together.

Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively-it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather facts:

1. Check out the fabric.
Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behaviour? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship.

Is your potential spouse a member of the same family- the family of God? Scripture is clear on this: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14). You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together.

Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and you dream boat isn’t interested, don’t waste your time. Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he’s not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he’s not going in your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one.

2. Does this man want you?
Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God’s hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (Prov.18:22). Note-Who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you.

In God’s perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam had no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You do not have to help out a guy because he is shy! Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want.

The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. Many a woman’s mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it is actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: “We love him because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill.

You don’t need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man- your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me; the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man anytime. So, trust God’s timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmakers. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found.

Again, -WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you- this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first and they should lead the relationship.

3. Moving
The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands her needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you.

4. Check out his buddies
Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man’s pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven’t seen yet. They reveal things about the guy’s character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don’t stay focused on the foot; check out the rest of his body!

5. Check out his relationship with his mother.
How does he treat her? This is a preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don’t like women, yet they say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.

6. Family
Remember that a man’s family reveals the cloth from which he’s cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.

7. Check out patterns of his life
Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? Broken relationships? Problems in making commitments? Including the job market? Mood swings? Is a problem someone else’s fault? Does he embrace responsibly or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.

8. Vision
Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn’t need help until he is busy doing what he was created to do. Is the man in your life guided by a sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him?

A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person- and you will be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life. A man who has a vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it!

A man who can not be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever. Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the mothering burden of obligation he associates you with.

You want a man who is firmly anchored in his destiny in Christ. Remember you are looking for a man who will be priest and leader in his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to compliment.

9. Complimentarily
Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts complement yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessings to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way? This is why knowing your spouse is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for a mutual cause. When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complimentary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to buy new shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition.

If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong.

This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotionally, or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift you are? The man in your life should consider you as a rare find, a priceless jewel because of you he is getting ready to be blesses big-time!

Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable, or that you have to work for love is too expensive! God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.

10. Self acceptance
Does he have a healthy love and acceptance of himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you.

A man’s relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something you can impart. You can not be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order.

In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ. If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to Christ, the relationship is too expensive.

Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can’t soar in the spirit, when the force of your love for one another is tested by the pull of gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive.

So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all other to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man?

Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for the hand that they desired. The truth of the matter is everyone knows that anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a ride in this life for free.

Friday, August 14, 2009

A fleeting dream.

A fleeting dream.

I have been a girl searching for her dream,
Searching for a friend,
Searching for the love of my life,
Searching for treasures,
That I believe may have been hidden
In a mountain, at is base, which has purple flowers.
But keep wandering, round and round in circles.
I despair, I give up, I fall but I rise again.
I rise because
When history will be written they will say,
‘She fell a million times and a million times she rose’.
I run till my feet hurt.
I cry till there no more tears to cry.
I pray till the saints cram
My every word of prayer.
I will beg God,
Because one day,
He will surely listen!
He will surely answer!
And I will smile,
A smile brighter than the rising sun.
I will dance,
a dance more charming than the wide sea.
I will sing,
A song sweeter than that of the cherubim.
I will shine,
Brighter than the moon.
I will clap, harder than striking thunder.
I will praise, sweeter than any singing bird.
I hold on to the dream.
I grasp it even though it will be slippery
I grab it!
Even though it flee from me.
I keep faith,
I keep hope,
I press on
Because that day will surely come.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Sparkling Eyes

You have these beautiful eyes
They sparkle, they smile,
With a calming presence
With a stealing beauty
With a secret charm
With a maddening artistic touch
God must have painted them
In a million ways that I couldn’t
Stunning they are
Beautiful they are
Oh what beauty there is in your eyes!

Hear the cry of Anna.

When you mention child issues I can’t help but think of my cousin’s child called Anna. Now Anna is 11 years old, she has a twin brother called Dennis. A few weeks after they were born, Anna’s mum, Francisca, noticed that Dennis was a bit slow and did not respond to different stimuli as fast as Anna. He did not kick in the air the way little babies do. He did not notice light as fast, and mostly he never cried. It turned out that Dennis is retarded. Sometimes I think he has bipolar disorder as well, because he takes a drug called Tegretol. Once in a while he would get epileptic feats. As it turned out, Francisca’s husband disowned them. He believed that Dennis’ condition must be genetic and must have been inherited from Francisca’s lineage.

On a normal day, Dennis takes his drugs three times a day, which have to be mixed in his food because he has kind of gotten tired of taking the pills. If he does not take his pills he gets epileptic fits. At the age of 11 he has to be taken to the toilet otherwise he will wet his pants. He can not make a real conversation and most of the time he spends with his grandmother at Thika market, around 40kms from the Nairobi city, where his grandmother sells carrots to earn a living.

Meanwhile Francisca has moved to Nairobi to do casual jobs in horticultural centers. At these centers she works to pack different kind of vegetables. If she gets lucky and lands a job in a day she will get between Ksh.100-300 (estimated US$1.5-2) per day. Francisca can not fully support her family because she has no permanent job. Her highest level of education was up to high school. This makes it hard to land a job in a City like Nairobi which has thousands of jobless university graduates.

For this reason, Francisca’s children, Anna and Dennis, will continue to live with their grandmother. As it is Anna is already 11 years old but she can not even read the entire alphabet. Why? Because she has taken into being a mother for her retarded brother, she cooks, she cleans, she baby sits him, which leaves no room for extra studies. Even when she goes to school she can not concentrate because she has this heavy burden weighing on her mind; her twin brother.

One Sunday afternoon, it is said, that Anna had contemplated suicide. She was found near a river close to home by one of the neighbors trying to dive in. She was crying beyond consolation, but the neighbors took her home.

May be there will never be a chance for Dennis to go to school in his condition, but I feel Anna should be given a chance. Once she is educated and lands a job, she could take care of her brother or hire a professional nurse. But if Anna does not go to school, her future is already dark as it is. On the other side someone willing to take Francisca to acquire more skills to get a decent job, could change their life.

There is a lot of distress in living with a child with special need, especially if that child is your sibling. May be now more than ever Anna needs counseling. She needs to understand that it is not her fault that her brother is sick. To understand that it is not her fault that their father left. To understand that it is not her fault that they are poor. Because when all this is done, may be she will believe in her self. Then her confidence will change they way she studies. Then they way she studies will change the world. And she will be another Eunice Kennedy Shriver, the younger sister of former U.S. President John F. Kennedy and founder of the Special Olympics. Shriver helped found the Special Olympics in the 1960s. Now, more than 1 million athletes in more than 160 countries participate in Special Olympics and meet each year. Or may be she will champion her own cause. And if she doesn’t at least she will be able to change her destiny and that of her special twin brother, whom the world passes unnoticed. Whose dreams may never be captured because we can not understand his language. Whose talents we may never recognize because he was too slow, and the world was moving too fast, because there was no time to notice if he had any talent.

My journeys in Books

My journeys in Books

In my greatest journeys and in my moments of solitude, I have carried a book. Why? To keep me company, to make me travel roads that I never would have. To meet a person I have never met. To laugh at my mistakes and the mistakes of others, to play with snow, which in real life I have never touched. In books I have met handsome men, I have been told stories of great heroes like Lwanda Magere. I have learnt how sign language is a deeply intimate talk. I have met people who share my dreams, who love adventure, people who would want a kiss of heaven.

Every time I pass a street with book shops I can not help but stare. I judge books by their covers, even when I know I should not. I judge books by their writers, even when I know that I can find a remarkable writer, that I have never heard of, and is neither famous. I judge the books by their colours, because they matter, because red catches my attention. I have been told that men are attracted to colour red. Does this mean I have guy instincts?

Big words, I have learnt from books. Not because I intend to use them, but because I want to know what someone says to me when they use those big words. I have climbed a hill in a book; I have smiled at a child in a book. I have saved a day in a book; I have hugged my worst enemy and betrayed my best friend in a book. I have loved that could not love me back in a book. I have met an angel, I have kissed heaven, I have seen God and talked to St. Michael in a book. Because in a book am a free person, am not tied to culture, my gorgeous looks can pass unnoticed like that beggar in a street.

I laugh, I cry, I sit, I watch, I contemplate, I meditate, I pray, I wish, I desire, I long, all these in a book. In a book I have met people who could not write, but because of them great stories were written. I have met men who loved women who couldn’t stay, but they loved them any way, because that’s the only way they new how. Am told severally, love genuinely and deeply because it is the only way to live.

In a book I have met a mystery that I left unsolved, because I believed it did not belong to me. In another I took the challenge because I believed it was meant for me. I have traveled a thousand miles in a second. I have grasped the whole universe in the palm of my hand. I have sung like and angel, even though I know I croak like a toad, and make a joyful noise in the name of singing. This is what makes a book interesting. It teaches you how to hold on and to let go. To fight when you know you will win the battle, and lose the war. To hold your head high, even when you know in the next second, the whole world will crumble before you. A book has taught me to believe, even when all faith is gone, to believe without the promise of tomorrow. That’s a book, all in one.

I have read a book to grasp what mathematics is, to juggle with formulas, that sometimes, honestly, I do not know an instance that I will need to apply them. I have read a book to fly with a pilot to see what she sees when she is up in the clouds. To dress a wound of a patient just like a nurse. I have moved to spread the gospel just like the evangelist, to meet humors people and comedians. Who would I be, if I did not know how to laugh? If I did not know how to walk in the foot steps of a model and see their glamour? To meet a shepherd and learn how he talks to his sheep. I have traveled a lot in books, and in those stories, I did not write because, I thought I did not know how.

A farmer I met once, in a book, who taught me how to grow melons and I hanged on because it was my son’s favourite fruit. I sat with a girl who wanted to have a normal father-daughter relationship in a book. I met a lady who fought the world to save her marriage in a book. I met a boy who drank his poor soul to death in a book. I can’t help but wonder why all of a sudden I am obsessed in books. Or may be it is written. On 12th August 2009, a beautiful girl, in the heart of Nairobi, seating in front of a computer became obsessed in books and started writing.